Tuesday, August 22, 2006

HELP SAVE MOTHER GOOSE!

HELP MOTHER GOOSE!

I’ve been back from the lovely, sleepy, historic New Hope, Pennsylvania for over a week now and I am still upset at the retarded behavior of some of the residents.

It all started with an invitation to visit a friend who lives there for a nice relaxing 24 hour vacation. It’s not often that I get to vacation with out also doing a show. I was very much looking forward it.

After arriving and getting caught up and having an afternoon cocktail we decided to head into town. I’ve been to New Hope before many years ago but it’s a charming as ever. I have only one question. WHERE DID ALL THE GAY BOYS GO? I remember it being much gayer!

After walking around and shopping on the main street we make our way to the river and the cute little water fall. While on the bridge we hear a goose making a lot of noise. A big beautiful white goose is flapping his wings and making quite a fuss in the water below. We notice he is limping and flailing and it’s very obvious to us he’s in a lot of pain. So we run around to see what’s up and we notice right away that there is a four-inch bright orange fishing lure in his calf. (Do geese have calves?) He makes his way into the parking lot of the Bucks County Playhouse where the Music Man is playing. We run to the box office and notice that the show has just started. We ask the lady at the window to call the local police (not 911) to let them know that a beautiful goose is injured and needs help. She was so not interested in our rescue efforts. We begged for her to call and she answered with “I can’t use the phone here” But it was in her hand…… HELLO! LIAR!! We all decided to leave our cel phones at home so that we could just relax and enjoy each other. Big mistake! What a day to leave our cel phones home. So now we are reliant on hospitality. So we run to the art gallery next to the theater/barn. The lady is less than enthusiastic to help us but eventually does. She doesn’t even care to look at the goose but does help us with the phone book and lets us use the phone. We get the run around from everyone and finally the police say ‘well meet you there.’ We wait and wait and wait for them and decide while we wait we should decide where to go eat to be more time efficient. I ask everyone what they want to eat and they all respond with “ GOOSE” Very funny! Don’t worry! This little passion pack of friends are all vegetarians!

While waiting for the police the manager of the Bucks County Playhouse comes out to look at the goose. He’s an odd looking man with a pot belly. He’s saying horrible things like “ I HATE GEESE” We try to convince him to help the goose but he tells us what an annoyance they are and how they scare people going into the theater ( barn) blah blah blah… Sorry I personally think that if you open a theater in the country then you have a responsibility to blend into their world and not the other way around! He says “ I Hate geese and I hate trees” Not really sure where that came from but without missing a beat Jamie says “I bet you like Cheeseburgers” The teenage parking lot attendant for the theater also comes over and starts complaining about the goose and says he should kill it… and he wants to kill all geese. And all I can think is that this theater is full of rotten people… Obviously not the actors… they were working and probably singing an appropriate song at that moment.. “ We got trouble, right here in river city”. The behind the scenes staff people we met were CRAZY and evil…. I’m not sure what’s going on at this glorified high school theater but the fish is starting to rot at the head.

We waited a long time and called back the police back to find out they aren’t coming. They then tell us they have had three phone calls in the last 24 hours and have calls out to the proper authorities. We are also told to things like “if you can catch it we’ll help it” and “just let the lure rust its way out!” Have you ever? We even meet a friend of our hosts who happens to be a vet. He couldn’t have cared less. “We can’t help wildlife,” he said. “It will probably get infected and the goose will die.” At this point we were all at our wits end.

Our hosts aren’t surprised: “What do you expect? We’re in the state Pennsyl-tucky”.

There is a brighter side. After dinner we went to the Raven for drinks and had a wonderful time. We end up meeting the cutest boy in the bar named Ron and it turns out that his friend is a volunteer/employee (not sure) at AARC.It feels like magic! What are the odds that we meet someone as passionate as we and with the right connections. He makes a call to save the goose. He then called us the next day and said the guy is going today to get the goose…

It’s been a week now and we haven’t heard anything. HELP MOTHER GOOSE!