I recently performed at PARDISE in Asbury Park, NJ. I love it there! It’s a fabulous club in a 50’s styled hotel called THE EMPRESS. Shep Pettibone (of Madonna fame) bought this amazing space and made it a gay mecca.
It’s normally very easy for me to jaunt around the country doing my shows. But recently it’s a bit more difficult. No it’s not the old hip joints from years and years of fan kicks! It’s the Chihuahua!
I have a new baby Chihuahua and thought it would be cute to take him with me for two days.. We’d be together and I could walk him on the beach. It would be perfect! He’s never traveled before so everything was new for him from the carrier to the train to the hotel to the carpet to the sand!
Our second day there I took him to the beach. It’s very hot out so we head to the shoreline. As soon as we get to the water this lifeguard start yelling at me, “GET OFF THE BEACH!” I say “what?” GET OFF THE BEACH? “why?” GET OFF THE BEACH! Once again "WHY?" He says “ NO DOGS ON THE BEACH, GET OFF THE BEACH!" I say “No dogs on the beach? That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!“ Have you ever heard of such a ridiculous law? And then he said I would have to leave too. I gasped with horror! I mean come on. It might not have been in my prettiest swmisuit but to say I was a dog was crossing the line. Then he barks (oh the word play) "Everyone needs a permit to be on the beach and that I could go to the trailer on the boardwalk to purchase one."
I have to say I was dumbfounded. It all seemed like a bad TV reality prank. BUT NO! In fact you do need a permit to enter 90% of NJ beaches. YOU HAVE TO PAY TO GO TO A NEW JERSEY BEACH!
I wanted to say “Can I at least ask the fecal count in the water today?“ But a true lady would never. She would just wait and write it for the world to see!
The thought of paying to go to a flat, dirty, waveless beach is hysterical! That’s OK I will go to one of the many millions of other beaches I can go to for free. And where they allow dogs.
And people want to know why New Yorkers seem a little tense or edgy….. It’s because for us New Yorkers …….the light at the end of the tunnel…. Is JERSEY!
LOL!!! That was fun! Ranting and Raving! I’ll have to do that again sometime!
P.S. I Love Jersey!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
OH MY GOD …. IT’S MADONNA!
At our last Saturday matinee of the THREE PENNY OPERA as I am standing in the back of the house “ushering” -- not truly seating people; it’s just the word we would use when the cast mingled with the audience 15 minutes before the “places” call. We’d stand around in our ghoulish Punk/Goth/Issac Mizrahi costumes making the audience uncomfortable. It was actually a lot of fun!
So I’m at the matinee still recouping from Friday night out with Alan Cumming and and Thursday night til 6AM celebrating Cyndi Lauper’s birthday! As I am looking around the theater my eyes spot a small posse of people coming in as the crowd clears. Sure enough walking into the theater is Madonna escorted with two people and a body guard. My director Scott Elliot is by her side chatting with her. As they all walk by me she looks at me and says, “ Do you pay them to look like this?” Scott responds, “ Yes I do!” So they walk on and I am naturally freaking out that Madonna walked by me a foot away. As soon as I am able to poke Hattie Hathaway, a fellow actor in the show, to let him know that Madonna just walked by she walked by again obviously not able to find her seat.
She had on a cute sweat suit with a baseball cap and sunglasses she took off while inside. She took her seat and ate a little sandwich before the show started. She looked amazing!! She is tiny; she can’t weigh more than 100 lbs.
After the show she came back stage to see Carlos Leon (Lourdes’ father and the sweetest man you will ever meet!) She paid her respects to Alan Cumming, Cyndi Lauper, Jim Dale, and Nellie McKay. All the principals! I was in the hallway hoping to meet her. I have never been someone to chase anyone down for a hello or a autograph. But I did want to meet her. I was even holding my baby Chihuahua Tobi hoping she might say… ‘Awww, how cute. ’ But NO! She just walked by and I didn’t say anything. BAD EDIE!
I forgave her because she had a show in Connecticut in less than 3 hours. But I wasn’t the only one she ignored.
Flotilla DeBarge, another actor in the show, sporting a “Madonna Live” tank top asked, “Can I have a picture with you? Without missing a beat or even looking up, Madonna flatted said “NO,” said goodbye to Scott and Carlos and disappeared down the stairs and out the stage door. It was very funny!
So I’m at the matinee still recouping from Friday night out with Alan Cumming and and Thursday night til 6AM celebrating Cyndi Lauper’s birthday! As I am looking around the theater my eyes spot a small posse of people coming in as the crowd clears. Sure enough walking into the theater is Madonna escorted with two people and a body guard. My director Scott Elliot is by her side chatting with her. As they all walk by me she looks at me and says, “ Do you pay them to look like this?” Scott responds, “ Yes I do!” So they walk on and I am naturally freaking out that Madonna walked by me a foot away. As soon as I am able to poke Hattie Hathaway, a fellow actor in the show, to let him know that Madonna just walked by she walked by again obviously not able to find her seat.
She had on a cute sweat suit with a baseball cap and sunglasses she took off while inside. She took her seat and ate a little sandwich before the show started. She looked amazing!! She is tiny; she can’t weigh more than 100 lbs.
After the show she came back stage to see Carlos Leon (Lourdes’ father and the sweetest man you will ever meet!) She paid her respects to Alan Cumming, Cyndi Lauper, Jim Dale, and Nellie McKay. All the principals! I was in the hallway hoping to meet her. I have never been someone to chase anyone down for a hello or a autograph. But I did want to meet her. I was even holding my baby Chihuahua Tobi hoping she might say… ‘Awww, how cute. ’ But NO! She just walked by and I didn’t say anything. BAD EDIE!
I forgave her because she had a show in Connecticut in less than 3 hours. But I wasn’t the only one she ignored.
Flotilla DeBarge, another actor in the show, sporting a “Madonna Live” tank top asked, “Can I have a picture with you? Without missing a beat or even looking up, Madonna flatted said “NO,” said goodbye to Scott and Carlos and disappeared down the stairs and out the stage door. It was very funny!
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